It has been 5 days since I started the journey to loving my body.
It hasn’t been too difficult. Portion control and cutting out beer and extra bread.
It was a little difficult yesterday, since my mom was in town and decided to take me to P.F. Chang’s for lunch. I ordered the lunch portion of a chicken plate and only ate half of it. I had to ask for a to-go box right away because if it would have sat there in front of me any longer I would have ate it. I was full and that is why I stopped eating, but growing up Latina my parents always told me to “finish everything on my plate” or not I would get in trouble. Growing up that way, it has always been hard to control my eating. I over-indulge out of habit.
But, lately it’s been getting easier to ignore the voice in the back of my head telling me to eat everything on my plate. Baby steps. At least that is what I keep telling myself. Continue reading
I am that girl who goes to the gym everyday. Some of you may call me a “gym rat” and I am a proud one at that.
But, I am also the girl who drinks beer and eats pizza and wings any chance she can. I love wings and can literally eat them all day, every day. I love to eat chips with sandwiches and just as a snack on their own. I love food and I love to eat. Even worse, I am a Latina, so I am constantly around delicious food at all and every family gathering no matter how big or small.
For as long as I can remember, I have been the “chubby” one of my family. Continue reading
I met him in the middle of my 8th grade year. All my friends would talk about him. How amazing he was and how great he made them feel. He was the boy next door; an all-Mexican-American boy. The boy all our parents wanted us to end up with. I fell in love with him 4 years later. Country Music, my second love, my first TRUE love.
At the time, I was at my rebellious stage. I was into NOFX, the Misfits, Blink 182, and Motion City Soundtrack (to name a few). I would wear skinny jeans, Spitfire logo shirts, and DC’s. All my jewelry had some sort of spike on it. I was convinced my parents knew nothing and that they didn’t really care about me. At school, I would get made fun of or talked bad about. I was weird, I was a “slut” (fun fact: actually lost my V card in college), I was too smart, I wasn’t smart enough, I was too dark, I wasn’t dark enough, I was too “white”, I was too Mexican, and many many more things people didn’t like me for or didn’t give me the time of day because of. Continue reading
When you are asked the question “what is one song that has changed your life?”, it is difficult to choose just one. I can easily name fifty tunes that have lifted my spirits or narrated important moments in my life. Whether it was the time that Ms. Gomez, my 9th grade Spanish teacher, sat down and translated “Te extrano” by Xtreme or the summer I discovered pride in my heritage through the rhythms of the Los Rakas tune “Africana”, it is music that takes me back to moments, mindsets, people and places.
“Suavemente” by Elvis Crespo was no different; it welcomed me into the world of Latin music with a warm abrazo. Watching the music video of a young passionate singer shake it Ricky Martin style, reminds me of the 90’s when most music videos looked like an episode of Reading Rainbow. I found “Suavemente” after the 90’s had passed. I was a middle school student in a college prep program.
One of my teachers had organized a Latin dance performance for the end of the summer awards ceremony so I asked her if I could dance with him. Continue reading
3 years ago today…
I woke up on January 23, 2012 thinking it was another bad day in a series of bad days. I had been broken up with about 3 weeks before and found out that he had been “hanging out” with another girl who I am still sure to this day was one of the reasons he broke up with me.
I would cry all the time. I would cry myself to sleep. I would cry as soon as I woke up. January 23, 2012 was no different. I got on the bus to school and cried the whole way there. It was a Monday and I was running super late. But, I was hungry so I stopped to get a breakfast taco before heading to class. Continue reading
“I Used to Love Hearing Every Rhyme.”
“I Used to Love Hip Hop in its Essence is Real.”
The day I fell in LOVE with Hip-Hop. Thursday, February 17, 2011. I was 21.
I had just been dumped by a guy who fell for his classmate, Victoria, who he would “tutor”.
It was the first time since my freshman year of college that I had been left for another woman. This time, though, I wasn’t left wondering. He straight up told me, “I like Victoria, so we need to break up.” That summer he told me the fling lasted 2 weeks and that he regretted his decision immediately after. Haha Funny how things work out that way. Continue reading
I was 7 going on 8 in the Fall of 1997. My mom was pregnant and I wasn’t particularly excited for the baby’s arrival. For a long time I felt as though my parents didn’t care about me. And I realize now that it was only because they knew I didn’t require as much attention as my brother because I was always “on the right track”. At the age of 7, the thought of having another person enter our lives meant that my parents would pay even LESS attention to me.
On September 29, 1997 my parents weren’t at school to pick me up. My “cousin” Pepe Martinez came up to my brother and I to tell us that his mom was to take us to her house because my mom was in the hospital delivering our baby something (we weren’t sure of the sex until the day of). I remember that Pepe’s mom, Lourdes, made us spaghetti, my favorite. I was skeptical and kept looking at the clock so that someone would take us to the hospital to see the something that would be a part of our lives now. Continue reading