I’m A Grown Woman

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“I’m a grown woman
I can do whatever I want
I’m a grown woman
I can do whatever I want

I can be bad if I want
I can do wrong if I want
I can live fast if I want
I can go slow all night long…”

Grown Woman(click for video)

All my life, or ever since I can remember, I have done what my parents told me to do. I rebelled  a little between the ages of 14 to 16, but nothing too major or out of this world. I was taught that in order to be PERFECT, I had to be perfect at everything. That included being the perfect daughter.

When I finally graduated from college and started my journey in the real world, my boyfriend pointed out how I still seek my parents’ approval for everything I do. He was right. Anything I bought, my 401K, my apartment, my job, etc. all had to be approved by my parents before I went on with it. It seemed really silly to my boyfriend and even to my coworkers that I basically couldn’t make a decision without them.

On November 29, 2013 I made the first “BIG” purchase as an “adult”. I bought my Ford Fusion 2014 aka Dark Beauty. But, of course, the parentals were there to help me make the decision. In the end, I got the car I wanted, but my parents really were the ones who had the last word.

I love my parents. I am very close to my family. I would never want to hurt them or do anything that would potentially ruin our relationship. But, lately, I have been wanting to grow up. Like, REALLY grow up. I no longer depend on them for anything really (just my health insurance, which I would gladly pay on my own if they let me). I am starting to make a name for myself and I want to navigate this world on my own…without them.

I still want their advise and their guidance. I just want to make my OWN decisions and go through with them whether they approve…or disapprove. I was once their little princess but now I’m a grown a$$ woman and I can take care of myself.

This coming weekend, I am taking the first step towards being able to make my own decisions.

Every year my parents host a Christmas party and 3/4 of the town is in attendance. I know they like the whole family to be there. It’s not because we get to spend quality time together, but more so that other people can see how close and loving we are. Honestly, I think that by now, if people don’t see that then there is something wrong with them. With social media we show and remind the world how much we love and miss each other…every…day.

The problem is that this year my parents’ party is scheduled on the same day as a Jay-Z concert. You’re probably thinking I’m a super b!+&* for not picking my family right away. But, the thing is this…

I love Music. It is part of my soul. When I am able to experience it live, I go for it. So I bought Jay-Z tickets months ago after I had enough money saved up so I wouldn’t feel too bad about spending it on a concert. I told everyone, my parents included. It was the first time I bought concert tickets on my own which is a really big deal to my Music-filled soul.

So, when I found out the party was the same day, I was upset because I had told my parents my plans for that day. Not only that, but my parents wanted me to drive down there for the party Friday, drive back home Saturday, “rest” Sunday, go to work Monday, and drive back down to them Monday night to spend Christmas with them. It would be too much for me and I know that if the situation was reversed that they most likely wouldn’t make the trip for me.

So, I decided to skip the party and go to the concert. All my life I have done what they tell me. All my life I have sacrificed my time off to go see them. For this one time, I want to be selfish. And if I am a criminal for that, well that’s too bad.

Thank you to my parents for all they sacrificed for me. Thank you for  putting me through college. Thank you for showing me the value of hard work. And thank you for always looking out for me and wanting what’s best for me.

But, it’s time I start making my own decisions and paving my own way.

Next on the list, telling them I’m moving in with the boyfriend…haha

Stay tuned. =)

Stay in love and Just Listen,

AM

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